I haven't cut my hair for about 3 months, and it's the longest it's been in years. I was about to get a haircut last weekend, but something stopped me. I looked in the mirror and saw the 10-year-old who genuinely believed in dragons. The 11-year-old who spent weekends trundling around in a scrap wood go-kart. So I kept the hair, even though it's a mess.
A lot has changed for the better in the last month.
I started working part-time at UCLA's new maker space last week, and a ton of forgotten knowledge came flooding back to me. It felt good to use the phrase "darlington pair" for the first time in almost five years.
How or why it actually happened is a mystery, but I've finally become the carefree, curious, and kind person that I always wanted to be. I'm not afraid, or angry, or distracted anymore. I'm just me.
I'm done studying, forever, effective immediately. I'll get as far as I can on my reasoning skills alone, and give up completely once that stops working. Something tells me that I was never cut out to be a student, but I'll stick around here until they make me leave. All I want from the rest of college is a few good memories with my friends.
I glance up at the copy of Steve Jobs' biography that's always on my desk. The back cover is a photo of Jobs, cross-legged, with the first Macintosh on his lap. I briefly wonder what I would look like in the same pose, holding something I built, with the casual smile of a boy who wanted to make cool stuff and incidentally changed the world.
Only one way to find out for sure.